Roll out the pooper scooper..... I have an announcement to make.
I have a new boyfriend.
He is not even a foot and a half tall. Couldn't be more than 8 inches across, and he's got a tail that's constantly wagging.
His name is "Love Mutt." And he is a dog (bet you never guessed).
Who names a dog Love Mutt? My neighbor with the green painted toe nails and the purple high-heeled sandals. That's who.
She is a downtown "artiste" and artists are strange. I am one so I can say that unequivocally.
How did this "love affair" happen? I'll tell you.
Everyday my neighbor takes Love Mutt out of "their penthouse loft" for a spin. It's a ritual. In the morning, she takes him with her for coffee at the Grand Central Market. Dangling from his bejeweled leash, he looks tiny and regal, swaying along as only a Love Mutt can do. In the evening, she takes him out in her big leather purse. All you can see is his ears floating along Broadway.
I think he is a toy poodle, but honestly I don't know. To me he is just brown and white, with a lot of curls, and very, very short.
I've known Love Mutt for several months now and I will tell you our tale (no pun intended).
We first met in the elevator.
He looked at me with those eyes and since that propitious meeting it's been quite a ride. Now, when Love Mutt sees me anywhere - we're talking in the building lobby, in the elevator, in the hallway, next to a fire hydrant - he goes wild, mad, crazy. He'll even jump out of his purse! First he does a little dance. Then he starts barking. After that he jumps up on my legs. Then he starts licking my ankles. Then he gives me the look that says, "take me home, baby."
I coo and swoon. And tell him "you're so cute" in that sweet voice that you only use with dogs and kids.
All the while my neighbor is reprimanding him, shaking her head, pointing her finger, and shouting, "Love Mutt stop that!!! Leave Nancy alone. I just don't understand it. He never acts this way, only with you."
Only with me. Hmmm.
Could it be my voice? It is rather high. Dogs love that. Or maybe it's my smile. Or my personality. Or my delightful scent. Or maybe it's just the story of my life.
Dogs. Human or canine - doesn't matter. They find me like a bone. Bow wow.