I Am a Chinese Woman...Living in a Jewish Woman's Body

Don't laugh. It's true. 

Yesterday, I had a wonderful healer come over to my historic loft to do a clearing. Her name is Carolyn Jacques and she's goooooood. 

What's a clearing you might ask? It's a ritual to get rid of any evil spirits in your place. You know the ca-ca that might be hanging around from generations.

Why would I do this? Oh, the list goes on and on - but cutting to the chase, I CAN'T SLEEP in downtown. And it is driving me NUTS. I already wrote about how noisy it is here, but it is getting to the point, where I am a desperate woman and I was beginning to think it was more than the noise.

Maybe evil spirits. Or ghosts. Or Angels That Go Bump in the night. I already wrote about that too.

So I called Carolyn up, who a friend recommended, and said, "we need to do a thing-a-ma-jing." Being Native American, she said, "You mean a clearing."

"Yes, okay. Just come."

And she did. With this big glass thing that was round and a stick, which she swirled around the glass thing. She said it was all about the sound.

Her first impression of my place was really, really good. Mine too. And then she said, "I think we need to start with you, Nancy." "Me?"

So she put the stick and the bowl near my chest, and said that in a past life, maybe going back 500 years, she wasn't sure, I was raised in China, but I was stolen as a young girl from my parents and taken to Barcelona and basically kept in a cage-like environment. Although a gilded one - facing the ocean. That when I was a teenager, I was asked to sing and that I had a beautiful voice and was a talented performer. But, that I was very alone and never married.

"Nancy, you are filled with grief, and your loft reminds me of your gilded cage, even though you face Anthony Quinn dancing on a mural."

What?????????

Those of you reading this blog, know I am a Pisces. If you told me that this place was filled with ghosts I would believe you. I just have to - it's my astrological birthright. But, a gilded cage? 

Yet, as I looked at Carolyn - she seemed so sincere and her words so heartfelt - that I then began pointing out all the Chinese things in my apartment - pillows, jewelry box, journal, clothes.

She is right. Yes, I must be Chinese. I was born into a Jewish family, but all my guilt started with my Chinese family and I am deeply disturbed.

"Nancy, I will clear the grief," she said. "Then we will go through the loft and clear out all the bad energy. By the way, your energy doesn't agree with wood."

Uh-oh. I sit quite often on my bamboo chair. Oops more Chinese (and wood).

Well...Carolyn stayed for over an hour. She sprayed this beautiful eucalyptus scent around the loft, gave me a bouquet of something to put in my pillow, and helped me commune with the many angels in my place. 

She's a truly lovely soul.

And last night - did I sleep any better? Not really. But I felt lighter. Uplifted. You know, in Pisces dreamland. On a trip to some place special.

It just didn't include sleep.

Comments

[Linda Jay Geldens]

Hi, Nancy, A bird in a gilded cage, eh? This is a fascinating story, the supposed Chinese/Jewish connection and all. I'm just wondering...maybe there's a "healer" out there who specializes in effective "nightly sleep vibes" -- or, what about something extremely practical, like double-pane windows to keep the "downtown" noise out of your loft?

[TalesofDowntown.com]

Hi Linda - We have double pane windows, about 2 inches thick. The noise here is just deafening, and what is also hard is that every night I keep on anticipating it. It's like waiting for the ax to fall. But, I too, like the Chinese/Jewish connection. Funny, my mother, who does not have a spiritual bone in her body - said to me once - "You must have been Chinese in a past life." Because I have always like to wear Chinese style clothes. Nancy

[Lynne Farr]

Hi Nancy! Get a fan and put it near your bed and let it make white noise all night. A tape loop of white noise or background music can also work. On big booming party nights with DJs in our old loft I used to sleep in our laundry room with water running in the sink after coming home from the party. I also added a pair of earplugs.
Meanwhile, my husband slept like a baby through everything! Lynne Farr

[TalesofDowntown.com]

Thank you Lynne! These are great ideas. I will get a fan. I don't know about the music, but the fan sounds good. Also, the running water sounds good, too! Nancy

[Betty Goldstein]

Dear Chinese lady in a Jewish woman's body:
Your succinct essay is brilliant. Your characters and imagery are so vivid that I thought I detected the scent of eucalyptus oil. Bravissima!

[TalesofDowntown.com]

Thank you Betty. I loved writing this piece. And coming from a brilliant writer such as yourself, I really appreciate your comment. See you at our PEN salon today. Nancy

[Calle Morgan]

Oh my gosh dear pisces! Do you know my one regret after leaving your home the other night was that I did not get to tell you how much I loved and enjoyed all of your asian artwork and touches(especially the piece in the bathroom). Really wanted to make a point of that because I too have a strong affinity for people and things of the orient. Including one of my best friends from junior highschool. She was Chinese and her name was Scarlett. We had so much fun together and she had to move away! We lost touch and my heart renches everytime I think of her like she was from a past life. She was such a great friend. Anyway, the other thing I wanted to mention to you when I saw the artwork is that guess what! Pisces rules the orient! Very deep my friend...xoxo ~ Calle