Okay, before I go on with this tale, if you must know - and since I'm the one writing this blog I will tell you - I don't care if someone is gay, bi, a lesbian, or has sex with a chicken, a duck or a fruitcake. I have just stated my case. So loosen up.
But, I will tell you straight out (no pun intended) that I am not gay. I might be known to skip down Spring Street on occasion, and throw kisses to the wind, but I am not gay.
This is what happened.
I went to a MediaBistro event, a gathering of writers, editors, and people in the biz - who get out from behind their computers, smooze and network. This month it was held at this new fancy schmancy restaurant in West Hollywood - so fancy schmancy - that they only had drinks and NO FOOD.
Can you believe it - a restaurant without food? I will stop complaining. I was just starving that's all.
Well, my friend Valerie, who was also at the event was starving too, and we decided to walk the streets of West Hollywood until we found some eats. Valerie is a TV writer/producer who lives in the Valley with her husband and two kids and I live in a loft in downtown - both of us knew West Hollywood - like we knew nothing. Because that is what we knew - NOTHING.
So there we were walking the streets, until Valerie spotted this place. It was a courtyard restaurant, with beautiful lantern lights, nice outdoor booths, a big bar, and this good looking guy standing in front, handing out menus to people wanting to get in.
"What kind of restaurant is this?" I asked the good looking guy. "Well, we were voted the World's Best Gay Bar and we have great food," he answered proudly. Puffing out his chest.
"Okay, sounds good to us," Valerie and I chimed in pretty much at the same time. He seated us in a really nice booth (underneath the outdoor heaters).
Pretty quickly, this other really handsome guy walks up to us - well, he was the waiter actually - and he said, "Welcome to the World's Best Gay Bar." Then took our drink orders and winked at us. Yes, Valerie and I were quite the couple. He left, we giggled, and I got up to go the bathroom.
As I left the bathroom, I noticed this really large back room. And in it were about 300 lesbians at a speed dating event. You know, those events, where you get five minutes, to tell someone about yourself, move over, then give someone else a chance. So, I saw all these bopping heads moving from seat to seat. Maybe you had to be there, but it just struck me as sit-com funny.
When I got back to the table, I told Valerie that there were about 300 lesbians speed dating in the back room, and maybe, she should get up to look. She did. We giggled some more.
In the middle of our dinner, this other really good looking guy walked over to our table, and excitedly said, "Girls now's your chance for speed dating!" Then winked and left.
On my drive back to downtown from the World's Best Gay Bar, I thought about how normal downtown is...and if you believe that...there is this bridge I'd like to sell you in Arizona.