The first thing I will say is that Spring Street, between 5th and 6th, has A LOT of potholes. The second thing I will say is NO ONE CARES, when women in heels are stuck pulling a heavy dolly stacked with chairs on Spring Street. And three, at some point in my life I WILL kill the chair guy.
The one who PROMISED ME, he'd be there to pick up the chairs. The one who made MY LIST - yes, that list - the one we all keep in our secret draw - where we WILL someday find away to get back at that person. Even if it means shifting the balance of karma.All right. I can breathe now. I'm a writer - I've got that need for unnecessary drama out of my system.
But, here's the story. That is, if you are still interested.
I lead downtown conversation series. I have for almost two years now. For my last conversation, I interviewed a downtown visionary in the recently renovated Spring Street Arcade Building - which is not my taste, whatever - but, "his guy" was supposed to have chairs at the event and then pick them up afterwards.
As I always do, the day before my event, I scope out the reality of what's going on. Turns out the chairs had been returned before my event. Which left me with having to find 14 chairs FAST.
In a panic, I ran over to Bert Green's Gallery. "Bert, I need to find 14 chairs. Who has chairs?"
"Oh, that's easy. Go next door to Russell Brown's place. He has lots of chairs." So, I ran next door to Russell's. Thankfully he was in.
"Russell, you look great, fantastic. But, I need 14 chairs to take over to the Arcade Building. I neeeeed chairs Russell."
"I've got the chairs but this is ridiculous, the CHAIR GUY just returned those same chairs. The ones you are picking up to take to the same place."
Huffing and puffing, I lifted the chairs into my SUV.
When I finally caught up with the chair guy (I had texted him so much, my fingers almost fell off) - because I needed him to help me unload the chairs from my car - and he got lost finding me and was 10 minutes late - HE PROMISED me that he would be there on time to pick up the chairs.
And I fellow Americans....BELIEVED HIM.
Boy, am I a dummy.
So when he didn't show up, I had to ask the women who attended the conversation (my guests!) to help me lift, stack and pull 14 chairs on a dolly back to Russell's on 5th. We schlepped (and I mean, schlepped) them through the arcade, in the elevator, out the lobby, down Spring. In heels, no less.
If anyone wants to know what the chair guy looks like, just e-mail me. I'd be happy to send you the flier of his face that I keep on my desk.